Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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