He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
