I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can't talk, ducks in the car
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
