I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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