yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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