I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
why is half of my head shaved?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
