If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
