I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
