hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
