I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
