Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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