for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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