all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
