i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
