girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
