How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
