dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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