if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
