And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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