Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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