are you still at the devil's house?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
