He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
