Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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