Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Houston, we have a blender
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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