after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
