Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
