Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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