the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
