Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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