I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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