Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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