Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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