whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
