I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize