she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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