tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
