Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize