I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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