We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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