OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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