Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
