oh god the rape fog is back!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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