The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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