he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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