Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
