I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
