Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
