when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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