Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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