That's intense
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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