I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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