Sry I called you an 8
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
