Buhtt sex?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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