well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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