Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
