Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize