lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
