Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
