Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
