Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize